Benefits of wasting time

By Bri Pierce

From my understanding about how humans think, any second spent not bettering yourself as a person is a waste of time. This idea is simply corrupt. The benefits of wasting time greatly outweigh the cons.

Benefits that come from wasting time are as follow:

  1. It’s a great workout. The three calories you burn while pacing around is extremely beneficial to killing off body fat. Skip boot camp for the day; you deserve some time to relax!
  2. Science shows that you can burn 350 calories fidgeting. That’s almost three bags worth of dried fruit. Just change your entire diet to space food and we will all have Kendall Jenner bodies.
  3. Wasting time also works muscle strength. When walking downstairs with absolutely no intention, it is likely you will try to justify a reason you just wasted that time going down the stairs. Now, this may cause strain on your frontal lobes but don’t fret. It will increase the strength of your brain muscles as they work to fight off feelings of guilt.
  4. Your knowledge increases. Counting the number of tiles on the floor is a great way to expose yourself to the world around you. People that walk into a room with little to no information on the number of tiles underneath them are burdens and quite frankly a waste of space.
  5. Wasting time also sparks creativity. This idea may be subjective but laying in my bed listening to the same album by Modest Mouse for 52 hours in a row really triggers my imagination. I have started and not finished writing at least three books and I have designed infinite solutions for time travel, those of which I will not disclose.
  6. Did I fail to mention that binge-watching Netflix is also a plus? Each hour spent watching Netflix is an hour of pure intelligence. No school is going to teach you how to get away with murder, or that orange is the new black. Without Netflix how would we know who gossip girl is?
  7. Wasting time also increases artistic ability. Doodling anything from a house with three chimneys to a poodle in a party hat embraces human’s inner Vincent Van Gogh. Without doodles, Snoopy most likely would have never been born. Without doodles, I can assure you people born anywhere from the 90s to the 2000s would have had a childhood deprived of Spongebob.
  8. Lastly, wasting time can benefit hygiene. Devoting a solid amount of time for the shower may raise bills but what it doesn’t raise is complaints from the neighbors saying you smell like dog.

 

Now that you wasted your time reading this article do you feel better about yourself? Thought so.

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