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How to avoid being the third wheel

By Carly Simonian

¨It will be fun¨ is always a trap when it comes to third wheeling. Hanging out with your friend and her boyfriend will never be a comfortable situation. You will end up sitting in the corner of the couch, watching them be all lovey dovey. Little do you know, there are ways to get out of these awkward hangouts. After years of experience, I can now share with you how to get yourself out of being ¨the third wheel.¨

  1. Playing the sick card: At many times, I am sure you did not even intend on third wheeling. Let me guess, you were hanging out with your friend, and she randomly decides she is going to have her boyfriend over! There’s no way to get out of this now, at least that’s what you think. Time to play the ¨sick card.¨ Once he gets there and you start to feel uncomfortable, start making comments about not feeling well, or having a stomach ache. As time passes, keep emphasizing on this, to the point where it’s ¨bad enough¨ that you can no longer stay. Works every time.
  2. ¨Oh look, mom´s calling.¨- Of all the tricks you can use to get out of third wheeling, this one is an all-time favorite. Set an alarm on your phone to go off about fifteen minutes after your friends significant other arrives. When it goes off, announce that your mom is calling. Make sure to stay in the room so they can hear the whole conversation. It should go something like this.. ¨Oh I have to come home for dinner? Ok fine.¨ After you hang up, give a large sigh (pretending to be angry about having to leave) and announce to your friend that you have to be home for dinner in ten minutes. There’s nothing they can do to make you stay now.
  3. ¨Shoot, my project.¨: When you start to feel uncomfortable in a situation like this, the only thing you can do is make conversation. In fact, making conversations could help get you out of hanging out with them. First step, bring up school. Begin to ask how their classes are going and what their teachers are like. Once you get close to the middle of the conversation, pretend to make a realization and stand up off the couch: ¨Oh my gosh, I forgot that my spanish project is due tomorrow.¨ As you pretend to ¨freak out¨, exclaim to them that you have to go home and finish it. Nothing’s more important than school, right?
  4. ¨Ouch, that hurt.¨: This one may be a little out of reach, but with some decent acting skills, anyone can pull it off. Tell your friend you are going to get something that you left upstairs (your backpack, phone, etc). Stay upstairs for a little while, then proceed to walk down the stairs. As you reach the bottom couple stairs, pretend to trip, take a nice face dive down the last two stairs, and crash onto the floor. As they come running over asking if you are okay, lay on the ground in ¨pain and agony¨, and exclaim that your ankle hurts very bad. Make it a struggle to stand up, and once you do, tell them that you want to go home to get ice on it, and rest. There’s not doubt that they will understand.
  5. ¨Honey your sister is sick.¨: Your mom is going to be your best option in many of these situations, because she can get you out of almost anything with just a phone call. Once again, set an alarm that sounds like a ringtone. When it goes off, pretend it is your mom and pick it up. When she tells you that your sister is very sick, and she needs you to go pick up some soup, you have the perfect explanation. Once you leave, never go back.
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